Why the sex you don’t want could be good for you.
March 25, 2008
Many couples won’t have sex when they’re feeling exhausted, unhappy, angry or distant,. Love often arises out of sex. The chances of having highly erotic or romantic sex increases when we’re prepared at other times, to have less than perfect sex: half-hearted sex, tired sex, dutiful sex, silly sex, tension-releasing sex, sad sex, angry sex, and so on.
Candlelight, a glass of wine, a raunchy film…some, or all, of these might work to get you in the mood for sex. But that’s probably only when you’re already feeling amenable to the idea of making love. What are the chances of having sex if you’re bored, or tired, or angry with your partner?
For most of us, the answer would be just about zero. Many of us feel we have to be in the right frame of mind to make love. The problem is, once we’ve been with our partner for some time and the early passionate phase has passed, those occasions when we feel consumed by romance or sheer lust seem to happen less and less. But, as research shows, the happiest, lasting relationships are those where sex plays an important part. Clearly, this inequality is a problem if couples want to stay happy.
Simply said, if you have sex every once in a while when you don’t feel like it, there’s every chance you’ll have a great time - and your overall relationship will benefit!
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